Why Family Photos Feel So Stressful
(And What Actually Happens Instead)
If you've ever completely lost your marbles before family photos, you're definitely not alone. In fact, I've seen how most moms who contact me is carrying some stress ball of invisible mental load long before anyone is even in front of the camera.
"The outfits need to coordinate"
"Everyone needs to potty and eat and nap in advance to leave on time"
"The weather has to cooperate"
"The kids need to listen"
"And somehow I'm supposed to make ALL that happen while also trying to get ready and stay calm."
That's a lot to carry.
Puyallup+Tacoma Lifestyle Photography
As a Puyallup family photographer
I've photographed hundreds of families over the years, and I've noticed something very important.
Almost every family I meet tells me they feel nervous or stressed before their session.
Very rarely is every family member not laughing and having a great time before it's over.
The Pressure Starts Before The Session
Most people think the most stressful part is the actual photo session.
Honestly?
Nope! It usually starts MANY days before.
You're picking everyone's outfit.
Wondering if they go together.
Ordering clothes because your kids outgrew everything.
Checking the forecast.
Changing the date.
Checking it again.
Trying to figure out bedtime.
Packing snacks.
Making sure your husband remembers what to wear.
Hoping nobody spills juice on their shirt five minutes before leaving.
If you're anything like most moms I work with, you've probably already created ten different situations in your head before you even left the house.
The truth is...
You're carrying disaster session scenarios before you even give it a chance.
And I get it. Truly!
Because moms carry a huge invisible work every single day.
Family photos just happen to shine a light on it.
B. FAM
Puyallup, wa summer 2024
What Actually Happens At My Sessions
Here's the part that most people don't see right away.
I'm not expecting perfection. And you shouldn't feel that way either.
I'm not expecting your kids to stand perfectly still.
I'm not expecting everyone to smile at the camera for twenty straight minutes.
What I am waiting for is connection.
We walk.
We play.
We laugh.
Sometimes we have races.
Sometimes we tell silly jokes.
Sometimes I ask the kids what Mom and Dad should do when it's their turn for photos as partners.
Sometimes we stop for a snack break.
Sometimes we spend five minutes letting curious toddlers explore before I even pick up my camera.
Your kids are always allowed to be them.
That's usually when the real magic happens.
I've learned that the more relaxed everyone is, the more natural your photos become.
Not because anybody is forcing anything.
Because nobody is trying so hard.
The Moment Everything Changes
There's a moment during almost every session that I absolutely love.
It doesn't happen in the beginning.
It usually happens about fifteen or twenty minutes later.
Mom stops looking at me after every click.
Dad starts making jokes.
The kids forget they're being photographed.
Everyone starts interacting genuinely with each other instead of focusing on interacting with me.
That's when I know the session has really started.
Because that's when the family starts acting like themselves again.
And those are the moments that end up so proudly framed on walls.
Not because everyone is smiling perfectly.
Because everyone was having fun together.
That's what people remember years later.
Not whether somebody's shirt was crooked.
Not whether your toddler sat still smiling for every picture.
They remember how it felt.
Why This Matters
Years from now, your kids won't notice whether their shirt matched perfectly.
They won't remember if the weather was cloudy sunny sunny.
They won't care that someone had grass on their knees.
They'll see their mama holding them close.
They'll see Dad smiling and laughing.
They'll see the that your family loved one another.
Those little moments seem ordinary today.
One day, they'll be the most extraordinary.
That's why I truly believe family photos aren't about creating something meaningful.
They're about remembering something that already is.
Your family.
Exactly as they are in this season.
